"How To"

So many things in my life now are simply part of my routine, and yet as I try and step back and think to what life was like 10 months ago I realize that living in Tanzania is a lot different than people at home might imagine. So here’s a quick “hot to” guide for living in Tanzania…

HOW TO…

--BRUSH YOUR TEETH. Put a pee size amount of Whitedent (the only type of toothpaste easy to find in Tanzania) on your toothbrush. Do not wet. Brush your teeth as you walk around your courtyard and fill up a lemonade pitcher with water from a bucket that’s sitting under the ledge of the roof collecting rainwater. Spit by the hole in the corner of the courtyard where water drains out. Rinse off toothbrush and wash away white gunk before it dries. Do not rinse your mouth unless you have the energy to pour yourself a glass of drinking water.

--GO TO THE BATHROOM. When at home enter the drop choo (pit latrine). Squat down. Most prefer the “heels on the ground method.” I, personally, am unable to do this well, so I just squat and balance on the balls of my feet. Try not to spray on your shoes. Always make sure your bum is over the hole. Cleaning up poo on the edge of the choo is not fun. Wipe…wash your hands. When you’re not at home the process is complicated a bit. On long bus rides the bus may occasionally stop somewhere in the middle of nowhere. You may look around the bus confusedly to see who is getting off and then realize that the answer is everyone. This is a bathroom break. Women go to one side of the bus. Men to the other. You must push your way off the bus. There is no order. You must get back on before the driver is finished and is ready to leave. HURRY. Carry toilet paper in an easy to reach place. On long walking trips a similar method is necessary. You may look for a clearing in the woods or a large tree to pee behind. You should still greet people if they happen to walk past when you are peeing…greeting is very polite. If for some reason you forget toilet paper, you may use leaves, scraps of paper in your purse, or anything else you can find. There is also the option of using the bucket of water that Tanzanians have in all bathrooms for personal hygiene purposes.

--WASH DISHES. Dishes should be washed in the morning. There should be a special basin for dishes only. You can buy fancy sponges and soap in town or use a cut-off from the sack that holds your charcoal and a piece of the long, orange bars of soap that are also used to wash your clothes, body, and hair. If water is readily available you can use another bucket or larger pan to rinse dishes in. Dishes should be placed outside upside-down to try in the sun.

--WASH CLOTHES. (Heat water…optional). Fill one basic a little less than half full. Separate clothes into things that will bleed and things that won’t. Wash the things that won’t first. Put a bunch in the water. Rub a bar of soap all over them and then rub the article against itself until it is clean. Also wash in a vertical direction to prevent clothes from being rung-out. If you actually use deodorant, you will have to pay careful attention to your armpits, although you will likely end up with permanent pit stains from the aluminum in your deodorant (I do). Wring out clothes thoroughly. Place in a bucket of somewhat clean water. Wring out again. Hang on the line. Pray that it won’t rain. In the dry season, it may be necessary to finish the drying process inside. However, if too much drying is done inside it will take too long and your clothes will smell like mildew. This will make you need to do the whole process again. I repeat. Pray that it won’t rain. (Note, you may look at your pile and think, “Yeah, this will take me about 20 minutes.” You will be wrong. It has never, EVER, taken me less than an hour….and it’s usually closer to 2. Although the neighborhood children also usually come and marvel at my clothes line…”14 articles of clothes!” they proclaim. I am rich.

--DRINK WATER. Start the charcoal stove. (This can be a difficult process the first few times). Pile in a lot of charcoal. Find a place that looks deep. Pour kerosene into that hole. DO NOT JUST POUR IT ALL OVER THE TOP. Light the kerosene on fire. Let it sit until the coals are all hot or fan the flames with a bucket lid or plate or anything else you can find. Put a pot of water on the very hot coals. Wait…FOR-EV-ER. Allow to cool. Then pour into your water filter (Expensive water filters can be purchased that are made out of ceramic, but if you’re in the PC, you probably have a homemade water filter. It is two, 10-liter buckets placed on top of each other. In the top bucket is a “candle” that looks like a huge piece of chalk. The water goes through this candle and drips through a small opening at the base into a hole in the top of the bottom bucket. In the bottom bucket is a spicket like the kind you’d attach your garden hose to. Drinkable water comes out of this spicket. Important note…you will be very proud once you have made a functional water filter. A lot of superglue may be necessary to fill gaps that were created when you tried to melt holes in the buckets with a knife, bottle opener, or whatever other awkward metal you could find when you first arrived at site. You also may discover that having the top of the water filter way above your head is precarious to your health. You will likely spill boiling water on yourself at least once and you also will not be able to see when fungus is starting to grow in your top bucket. It is good to have tall friends or a stool nearby.
--BATHE. If you are blessed and live in a warm part of Tanzania heating your water is unnecessary. If you live where I live see how to start the charcoal stove…and heat your water. You will probably heat it too much and have to mix it with cold water. Approximatley 10 liters will be needed if you want to wash your entire body and wash your hair and/or shave. However, during the dry season you will realize most of these things are optional and really only certain body parts MUST be bathed on a regular basis. Take your water into a somewhat private room (here it’s called the bafu—it’s also the place where you can “short call” or urinate. You will learn that awkwardly when slightly tipsy at a party or when a student leaves a puddle next to your shampoo). Remember the lemonade pitcher you used to wash your toothpaste down the drain? Fill it up with water and dump it all over yourself. Quickly shampoo your hair and rinse. Now that your whole body is wet….suds up. And rinse again. You probably will have to scrub the dirt off your feet. And if you are a wuss like me, you’ll probably risk the fumes and bring your charcoal stove in the bathroom with you to keep warm between pitchers of hot water.
--BAKE. The day you discover baking in Africa will be one the best of your life. It may even eclipse the birth of your second child. (Come on….we all know the second child is no big deal….Why do you think there’s only a few pictures of me. I mean, them….most second children) ;-) Anyway, start the charcoal stove like you normally do, but add lots of extra charcoal. When it’s hot, take some coals off and put them on the lid of a large pot. Place the pot on the stove. Put 3 stones in a triangle in the center of the pot. Put another pot holding the bread, brownies, cake, bisquits, etc. on top of these stones. Then put the cover of the large pot with the hot coals, carefully on top. The space between whatever your baking and the top and bottom should be about the same distance so that the food inside cooks evenly. You’ll probably have to change out the coals on top as they burn out. Sticks and wooden spoons work, but they tend to catch on fire or smoke. You will eventually want to buy some metal tongs. If your Tanzanian you can use your fingers. But you are not Tanzanian. Do NOT use your fingers.

--MAKE FRIENDS WITH CHILDREN. See previous session. Brownies are the international language of love.

--GET MONEY FROM THE BANK. First you will need to get up around 5:45….and press snooze until 6. Fumble around your house in the dark and walk about 10 minutes as your watch the sunset on your way to the nearest “town.” Here there will be competing car lines trying to get your to board their car/van. They will pull you, take your bags, sweet talk you, etc. They work for commission. Don’t get angry. If it is the dry season many people will pile into the car. You will likely have someone (or some animal) sitting on your lap, smacking into the back of your head, and just generally encroaching, no…invading, your personal space. This will not change until you arrive. You will all share a similar smell and dusting of reddish earth by the time you arrive. It will be a fast, bumpy ride. If it is the rainy season, you will likely get stuck in the mud several times. Here is the one time you will be happy to be a woman in Tanzanian. The women have to get out and walk ahead to where the road recovers. Sometimes waiting for up to a few hours. Men on the other hand have to push. HA. You will often think you’ll never arrive, but you’ll be wrong. Tanzanians can do anything. Even traverse mud 6 feet deep. You will get there. You’ll likely be sick to your stomach, so you’ll enjoy a tasty breakfast of tea and fried dough or supu (beef broth with one huge chunk of meat). Then you’ll walk up to the bank where you’ll likely wait approximately 2 hours. The power may go out. The network may go down as soon as you reach the front of the line. You will likely spend the two hours in line thinking of ludicrous ways to express your anger. You may start maniacally laughing by yourself. You may curse the folks who come in and “save” their place in line and sit and wait, until you think there’s only one more person before you get to the magical teller window, but then one person becomes three and three seven. You will likely long for the Federal Teachers Credit Union, but you will remind yourself this is the only bank for about 100 km in every direction and so you try and keep your cool. Sometimes you will fail. You will almost always walk away with a lot of money so that you don’t have to come back again for a while.

--CHEER YOURSELF UP. Open your front door. Within 20 minutes there will likely be at least a handful of local children interested in playing with you. A smiling laughing child is hard to resist. If it’s a really bad day, turn on your radio. Now the smiling, laughing children will start dancing. You will start to feel better in no time.

--VISIT FRIENDS. No need to call ahead. No need to make plans. Tanzanian friends always want to see you. If you haven’t seen each other for a few days, they will likely tell you you’ve been lost or ask you where you traveled to. They’re not really angry, they just want you to know you were missed. When you arrive at a friend’s house. Don’t bang on the door. They would think you’re silly. Instead when you reach the courtyard or open door, say “HODI!?” “Hodi,” is like saying, “Hello? Anyone home? Can I come in?” You will ALWAYS receive the response, “Karibu!” or “Welcome!” Visits can be quick and consist of a few greetings or a brief exchange of news, but they are best when a bit extended and food is involved. (NOTE: Some PCVs have mastered “piga hoding” as a method to build relationships and to get yummy food from gracious neighbors).

This is probably the least insightful entry I’ve ever written, but hopefully you enjoyed it. If there’s anything else you’d like to know how to do in Tanzania, let me know!